Stevie Wonder: Valet Parking Attendant in Paris

I will say that Paris is not a city conducive to driving. The traffic is an issue and parking is minimal.... and I've discovered that Parisians can't park to save their lives.

What Parisians think of American eating habits

I'm never heard of 'American Sauce' until now, although I'm 99.323% sure it's bottled Big Mac sauce. That would be TWO foot long hotdogs in one bun... with ground beef. Titled US Hot Dogs.

When guys try to hit on me when I'm walking home at night

GIFSoup

Gypsies: a love/hate relationship

Many people that know me, know that I have an extreme affinity for the UK gypsies, particularly as it relates to their weddings. Unfortunately the Romani gypsies in France that steal your cell phones, pickpocket and rob you at the bank machines are a very different story. It's a weird feeling when you're around a 7 year old and you're thinking 'oh crap, this little shit is totally going to rob me blind'.

Me on the Paris subway

GIFSoup
GIFSoup

The Day I Became a Nigerian Prince

Have you ever received an email telling you if you provided a Nigerian Prince with money, he would be able to access his inheritance from his father and give you a few million? Well apparently I was selling false dreams like this as well (unknowingly). I arrived in Paris employed by Concierge Plus Group. They claimed to be a 'premier concierge service' for all the major trade shows happening in Europe (Cannes Film Festival, Berlin Film Festival, MIPIM, MAPIC, etc). Recently some shady events took place: 1. They provided hotel-issued confirmation letters looked like my 5 year old nephew put them together on Word and featured stock photos from other sites. The client called the hotel and confirmed we did not make any reservations on their behalf and that the letter wasn't issued by them 2. The company has to continuously change bank details 3. It was formerly known as Euro-events.uk, a company identified as being fraudulent on multiple sites 4. My boss uses an alias for his outgoing emails. His last name recently changed on Skype. 5. Then found the following articles from events that we sell to: http://my.mipim.com/en/prepare-my-visit/fraudulent-accommodation-providers/ http://www.mapic.com/en/mapic/prepare/book-your-accommodation/fraudulent-accommodation-providers/ Plan of action: 1. Call all companies that have paid deposits/in-full for upcoming events and tell them they've been duped (as were we). If we can't save them their money, the least we can do is have them not arrive to Cannes during the film festival and have absolutely no where to stay 2. Call the events that haven't listed this company as fraudulent and advise them to do so. Pretty exciting stuff for only two weeks into this adventure!

Diet?

(Some) Things I have had to eat this week: MANY baguettes, MANY croissants, Eclairs, Coquille Saint-Jacques, Foie Gras, This incredible garlic tomato spread from a Spanish tapas bar. Tastes like bruschetta in a spread. Lots of cured meats, Herb crusted lamb, Pork roast, Everything I've had to drink this week: Red Wine, Veuve Clicquot

Parades and Protests...oh my!

I somehow managed to accidentally walk into two parades/protests for gay rights. Once in the 13th arrondissement and the other in the 6th, in front of luxembourg gardens. Right place at right time I guess. First was the protest against gay marriage and adoption rights. I thought it was a parade because they had balloons and played Rasputin more than once. I shit you not. The second was in support of it. They were much more fun. http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1314414--french-gay-marriage-protest-draws-thousands http://www.france24.com/en/20130127-paris-gay-marriage-rally-france-march

Arriving in style

Here is a summary of my flight over here: 67 year old British woman sitting two seats down from me yells "Have you had a nose job?! Your nose looks too perfect to be real!" Then she proceeded to drink neck and neck with me (wine was free, I took full advantage) and shortly after criticized me for how much I drank. She then spilled coffee all over herself and got mad at the cabin crew for not being able to dry her shirt. The staff were direct with her "aside from giving you a new shirt, there isn't much else we can do". She then criticized the person in between us for sleeping the whole flight (lucky him!). Arriving in Paris.... My cab driver insisted that it would take 2 hours to get to my apartment and so I left the airport much sooner than I should have. The agency rep for the apartment was scheduled to meet me at 5pm. I arrived at 2:45pm. My apartment is off a courtyard, so I had to wait outside for close to two hours with three massive suitcases in the January rain. After that, it's been a series of events in which I get lost. There is no grid, just a series of forked roads. Often I think I'm travelling down the same street for a while until I look at the difficult-to-read street signs and realize that I'm on a completely different one. I was working from home the day after my arrival and decided to treat myself to a nice Parisian lunch. I left my place and wandered around until I found a place that seemed quaint. When I exited the place, I realized I hadn't the slightest clue where I was. This resulted in my being 'out to lunch' for close to three hours by the time I made my way home. The good thing is that I've learned to make a lot of mental notes about shops I see so that I can find my way home wherever I go.